What C.O.D. Zombies taught me.

Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2 Zombies © Activision

Playing Zombies online can be fun as it is frustrating. Moments of powering through waves and waves of flesh-eating, dirt-munching zombie monkey flesh… things. Then you have those moments where you have no money for a weapon, a crappy pistol and your flanked and gibed by scores and flesh-disease walkers. Whilst we patiently wait for something a little more “advanced”, here are few of those life-long lessons you should get when you play COD Zombies online:

1.) WATCH YOUR OWN BACK

You really can’t depend on people. You just can’t. The guy that is supposed to be handling business behind you has decided to up and get dropped, leading his horde to your rear while your trying to whittle down your own problem. Self-reliance is one of those things you will have to learn early on, especially when playing online. I mean why’d you put something as sacred as your life in the hands of a 14 y-o kid from Milwaukee.

2.) “SELFISH C*NT”: Everybody is not for you

This comes down right back to the trust issue in a sense.  I’m sure you’ve come across these but-buddies in TranZit; they block both doors so you can’t get on the bus. Or they grenade your turbine so you can’t access the Pack- a- Punch sub-level. You’re downed and they have more than enough time to revive you but don’t. Or how about stealing valuable points in the first round by taking your kills. You wish your continuous stabbing would actually sink deep into compadres throat. I mean, they are literally killing you by blocking your path. So when that douche bites it, teabag him or continuously revive him half way until he taps out.

3.) MONEY

Mo’ money, mo’ riches. The worse thing is to have light pockets. The whoas of the 99%. Once you are in the 10,000’s you can afford getting upgraded ammo, pack-a-punch, and buy all the perks you want. Now your free to start mowing down the zombie scum. Now you know how the 1% feel like.

4.) STRATEGY IS KEY

Now this is Sun Tzu territory. Know your surroundings. Where that weapons magical crate is. Where to get that special weapon or perk you need and the best way to get their from your present location. What’s first on your to-do list? (Other than not dying at the hands of zombies and douches). Planning, especially planning on the fly, is a skill gamers can appreciate. We generally are good at decision-making than the the non-gamer populace (science proves it kids).

Master these lessons and you’ll have all that it takes to survive in this Zombie haven wave after wave. Well, almost. The last lesson to learn is to not get downed by stragglers. Or by a crawler zombie. That’s just embarrassing.